Thursday, March 31, 2011

The God of Dogs and Ponies

“Why didn’t God just snap His fingers and…”

YouTube isn’t the first place I’ve seen this whine, but I was reminded of it lately when some of the fundy atheists there were using it to suggest that God could have eg, stopped the whole incident in 2 Kings 2:23-5 by poofing some hair back on Elisha’s head to stop the “bald head” taunting.

Now that’s a brilliant argument. Let’s see….

“Bald head! Bald head! Bald – “


“Uh…big nose! Big nose! Big – “


“Rats! Uh – Balloon ears! Balloon ears! Balloon – “

By the time this is over Elisha will look like a cross between Jack LaLanne and a Greek marble statue, with the intellect of Einstein and the personal charisma of Kennedy. Then they’ll make fun of him for being so different from everyone else.
Another one of these wackos suggested that God should have “teleported” the youths away so they would no longer bother Elisha.

Gee, where to? Suppose they start bothering someone in the new place they go? If they’re bad enough, they’ll end up with a rewarding world tour.

It’s amazing that these wackos are so childish that they think this represents some kind of real solution to problems. God as a constant fixer-upper is the contrivance of a lazy and ignorant generation that thinks the whole purpose of being omnipotent is to be able to create rational beings and then entertain them.
In the times I have seen this whine abused, the following never occurs to anyone: It’s a terrifying hypocrisy. They want God to interfere like this, but then they freely commit sin – which suggests they don’t want God to interfere. In other words, they only want God when He can act as their personal errand jockey: When something offends them, or when they want something, or when they’re in pain. That’s some gratitude – and they expect God to do favors for them?

Not only that, these whiners aren’t doing all THEY can right now to fix the problems they think God should be taking care of. It doesn’t matter that they’re not omnipotent – they have some power and ability, and there are things they could be doing right now to help victims in Japan, or orphans in Brazil, or even vagrants in their own town. But unless their lives are oriented towards such help 24/7 – if they watch any TV, or play any Xbox, or drive a car that consumes too much gas – they’re hypocrites, and as evil as they think God is for not stepping in all the time to fix our mistakes and problems.

In reality, nothing obliges omnipotence to provide a dog and pony show. The Pharisees needed no sign in the sky. They had the tools and the knowledge they needed already. God gave us brains and hands and good sense and talents to use. Asking Him to “do more” is simply childish rot. Suggesting that He could have just “snapped His fingers” to stop trouble is simply a naïve take on human nature and a narrow refusal to consider long-term consequences of actions.

As my beloved Mrs H says, they’d better be careful what they ask for – God might decide that “poofing” YOU is the best answer.

And I don’t mean into Jack LaLanne.


  1. Yes, I love how Atheists say that God was evil for flooding the world and killing everyone but Noah and his family, but then suggest that God is too blame for not stopping the evil in the world. He could remove all the evil in the world, and in a sense he has through the cross, but thankfully he has mercy and gives us more time

  2. If God really did create us so He could entertain us, I'd feel sorry for Him.

    I'm glad He's not like that, though.